Top 6 Things Your Waitress Wants You To Know

Hi, it’s me, the waitress at your local restaurant. I have had the (mis)fortune to work in this industry for over 5 years and noticed there's a lot of misconceptions around the topic. Even though I think everyone should work in hospitality or retail once in their life to have some perspective and respect, I've put together the basics for you. Here's everything your restaurant server wants you to know.

1. It's a full-time career

While most of our floor staff are part-time, supervisors, managers, chefs etc are all on salaries. Not a lot of people choose to make a career in hospitality because it’s tough. The hours are insane, and the pressure is huge. You have to be genuinely in love with what you do for it to be worth it.

I’ve seen many people coming to this country, hoping for a better life. They start off washing dishes and scrubbing kitchen equipment 40 hours a week but they slowly start working their way up. They watch and learn by prepping vegetables before shifts and helping out with delivery orders. Eventually, they get trained up as chefs and the cycle starts again with someone else. We’re all a big family and for a lot of us, this is our life.

2. We don't make a lot of tips

This, of course, differs across restaurants. I imagine high-end places see more tips but that’s not the reality for most of us. Let me tell you this, we are not in it for the tips. It’s either your career or it fits your schedule with whatever it is that you have going on (college in my case).

I genuinely care about customer experience and it makes me happy when I see people enjoying the food and having a great time. But let’s stay on topic as this one is crucial.

• We don’t expect it but it’s much appreciated.
• If it’s less than €1 just keep it. That’s borderline insulting.
• If you’re having a really successful tinder date and you forget about the time only to realise it’s past closing and you’re the only ones in the restaurant, tip. It’s not cute and we want to go home.
• If you're not sure if you can tip on the card, just ask. Ask if your server gets the tip. (see: The Ivy)
• If it’s just the two of you grabbing a quick bite we don’t expect you to tip. But if you’re a group and/or stay for hours, order bottles of wine and multiple courses, tip.
• We understand if you can’t tip for whatever reason. Ask your server’s name and leave a review mentioning him/her. It will not go unnoticed by management and it will certainly make his/her day.
• If something is wrong with your drink/food, say something! It’s not our fault but we will do our best to fix it. A passive-aggressive ‘it’s fine’ then not tipping just isn’t helpful. We want you to leave happy.
• If you’re splitting the bill, tip. Most importantly work out how much you’re paying each. Don’t tell me it was a diet coke, chicken salad, fries etc. I have a job to do, people are waiting and I’m too tired and hungover to do the math in my head anyway. If you’re a group of 5 or more just Revolut each other because I’ll die a little bit inside if you ask to split the bill.

3. We won't try to sell you stuff

Most of our recommendations are genuine but like most people, we are biased. Don’t ask your vegan server about the best steak, if you know what I mean? We have our things we like and we’re good at. As a beer person, I will tell you all about beer but if you ask me about wine I’ll just make things up.

4. We aren't talking about you

Most restaurants are busy, fast-paced work environments, so we simply do not have the time to talk about you. If you catch me staring, chances are I forgot your drink order, because I’m juggling 7 tables at once, and I’m desperately trying to remember it.

This, of course, does not apply if you’re terrible to us, you’re being unnecessarily difficult or your order is just bizarre (I’m looking at you, guy who ordered a glass of milk with your veggie burger. Are you okay?)

If you’re on a tinder date, we know. It’s very obvious but we get them all the time and we are rooting for you. Here’s a little insider tip to impress your date: tip your server!

5. We won't spit in your food

No one’s going mess with your food or drink, I can guarantee that. Are we going to put effort into your cocktail or the garnish on your food? Not if you pissed us off but there’s a minimum standard and it’s not worth risking our job over someone without manners.

My little passive-aggressive revenges include:

1. Giving the smallest slice of a cake or the corner piece of a brownie.
2. Telling you something is not possible when I know it can be done (like creating an entirely new dish instead of ordering off the menu like a normal person).
3. Saying we’re fully booked when you want our biggest table for your party of 3. (We're not)
4. Saying 15min more wait time because you're kicking up a fuss about the waitlist. (I don't care if you're a regular, I don't make the rules)
5. Gently bullying you into paying the bill by asking if you'd like anything else repeatedly.
6. Waiting a few minutes before telling people the table is booked when they seat themselves.

On the other hand, if you treat us nicely you might get a free dessert (unless you make us sing on your birthday, there should be a surcharge for that), drink or side.

6. You don't have to be a people person to be a server

Here you are walking through the door. We are less than thrilled but we’ll play our part. Some better than others but just so you know, your waitress isn't flirting with you. The manager isn't your mate and don't tell me you'll have the usual. I have no idea who you are.