The closure of clubs and pubs across Ireland has led to Irish folks taking up new hobbies, getting fitter, educating themselves, and sharing it all on social media. Despite the admirable trendsetters, we are also spending 40% more on take home alcohol than previous years. Somewhere among all this pretentious personal development we have lost what it is to be a proud Irish citizen; booze. This guide will take you through how you can feel less guilty about solo drinking, and how you can remember less repetitive evenings with your family.
First off, have you thought to yourself “I should really do some exercise” over the last few days/weeks/months? Well what better exercise to do than become a WFH bartender? Bartenders have been reported to burn up to 268 calories per hour during a busy shift, and with the additional stress of shouting family members, this number could be as much as 1000 calories per hour as a WFH bartender *We are not professional fitness advisors and results may vary*. That’s the equivalent of running more than 10km for the average person.
Secondly, what if I told you that the cocktails you pay up to €10 for in infamous bars across Dublin cost less than €1.50 to make? Next time a bartender tries to charge you 10 quid, you can simply present them with ingredients brought from home and politely ask them to put them together for a small service charge *We are not professional cocktail purchasers and these concepts are purely theoretical*.
Finally, it doesn’t look like we will be returning to bars any time soon, and studies have shown that drinking cocktails can result in increased endorphins, higher levels of productivity, and a boosted immune system *No such studies exist*.
So let’s get started....
1 - Cosmopolitan
Ingredients
30 ml Smirnoff vodka - €0.75
10ml lemon juice - €0.10
10ml lime juice - €0.10
15ml triple sec - €0.60
30ml cranberry juice - €0.05
Ice – Free
Total cost - €1.60
Method
Place contents into a cocktail shaker, and shake until well mixed. If you do not have a professional cocktail shaker to hand, simply wash out a flask or any other fixed top cup and shake hard.
2 – Socially distanced Sex on the Beach
Ingredients
30ml Smirnoff vodka - €0.75
25ml peach schnapps €0.50
2 oranges, juiced, plus 2 slices to garnish - €0.20
50ml cranberry juice - €0.08
Ice – Free
Total cost - €1.53
Method – Ice, then vodka, then peach schnapps, then juice. If you’re feeling fancy you could even cut slices of orange and slot them on to the edge of each glass. Little umbrella encouraged but not mandatory. Do not consume little umbrella.
3 – Martini – shaken then slurred
Ingredients
60ml gin - €1.50
1 tbsp dry vermouth - €0.30
3 olives - €0.30
Ice - Free
Total cost - €2.10
Method – Place gin, vermouth and ice into a shaker and shake. There is no proof that shaking a Martini makes it any better whatsoever, other than that James Bond does it, which is enough for us. Put olives in the drink to make it look better.
4 – Mojito
Ingredients
juice of 1 lime - €0.20
1 tsp granulated sugar - €0.01
small handful mint leaves - €0.20
60ml white rum - €1.80
soda water - €0.20
Total cost - €2.41
Method – Mix lime juice, sugar and mint leaves in a small bowl or jug, crushing the mint as you go. Pour into a tall glass and add a handful of ice. Enjoy your drink safe in the knowledge that you are getting at least one of your five a day.
5 – Vodka on the rocks – Plan B
Ingredients
200ml Vodka - €5
Orange peel - €0.10
Ice – Free
Total cost - €5.10
Method – Gently place ice cubes into a glass of your choice. Carefully pour vodka into glass. Peel orange skin and place in your cocktail. Wake up the next day wishing you had at least tried to make one of our other cocktails.
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